Balancing a job and a side hustle

I often speak to my close friends and family on the topic of career change, including the option of starting a business on the side or project while maintaining your current job. This is a strategy I advocate because it lowers the financial risk (you have money coming in from your day job), emotional risk (you try out your idea and/or interest before making too drastic a change) and transition risk (you have time to build experience and skills before migrating 100% to your side pursuit).

This strategy is not just for aspiring entrepreneurs but also for people looking for traditional employment. You can consider your job search or career change as your “side business.” People like the benefits of this strategy but have problems with execution. So this post is the first of three to answer the most popular questions I get around balancing a job and a side business. The problem with this strategy is that people like the benefits that come with it but have a problem in executing it. There are a few things you can do to balance a job and a side business that have helped me in successfully running multiple businesses and a full-time job.

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The only thing that can help you to run the business and your full-time job successfully is time management. I know reading this, you are thinking, “I already don’t have enough time in a day.” I’ve found that it’s challenging for people to realize that everyone has the same number of hours in a day and days in a year. What we do with our time is what differs from those who are average and those who shine.

I’m not here to tell you that you’re not busy or that you’re not managing your time effectively. But what you should be asking yourself is how much benefit would a side business offer you. How big of an impact would an extra R1500 in your pocket a month make? What would it mean to you to have that creative freedom of making all the decisions for your business?I can’t answer these questions for you but I can tell you that for me, those answers were what forced me to do it. Managing a career along with a side hustle isn’t easy but it’s most certainly worth it. Here’s a few things that I learned along the way that will help you do it effectively:

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Don’t Feel Guilty. You’re in Control

The number one thing I see holding smart and ambitious people back are the stories they tell themselves that are built on a foundation of guilt. Too many people feel guilty about spending time building businesses in the evenings and weekends instead of focusing on their 9 to 5’s. It’s as if they feel guilty for taking control of their own destiny, their own life and their own career. Sadly, this is the kind of thinking that stifles professional and personal growth.

Block out time for your business

If your job takes 40 hours per week (or 50+ when you factor in lunch and commuting) you’ll have to set up specific times to work on your business. You might block out 3-4 hours per day, with one or two hours early in the morning before work, two or three in the evening, then more on the weekends. Businesses require time and effort to build so you’ll have to be very disciplined in making the time that will be needed.
Commit to Self-Awareness & Self-Development

It’s important to know what you can do and what you cannot. It’s also important to commit to being aware of your own actions and how they’re impacting those around you. This includes your actions at your 9 to 5 along with the actions outside of your day job.

It’s important to spend time reflecting on what you need to improve and putting in the effort to improve those areas of weakness. You need to commit yourself to learning new things and gaining new information that can help you and your business move forward. Additionally, it’s also important to be aware of how these new skills are translating into your existing career as they could be leveraged for that raise or promotion you’ve been waiting for.

Talk Less. Listen More

The more you listen to your customers, employers, and colleagues, the more you will learn about them and their own insecurities & desires. You will be able to better understand if your boss is okay with you having a side hustle and determine early on, whether it’s time to start looking for a new job to begin with. Beyond listening to your employer more, there’s a true benefit in listening to your customers. It’s your customers who will help ensure that your business is alive and it’s them who will give you unfiltered opinions.

When it’s finally time to leave—don’t burn your bridges

When that blessed day comes that you can finally leave your job to make your business your full-time occupation, be sure to handle your exit gracefully. None of us know what life holds, so it’s best to assume that you may need a reference or even your old job back at some point in the future. Keep your departure friendly and cooperative, and do what you need to to keep the door open. Ultimately, the ability to balance a new business with a job may come down to the type of business you’re looking to start more than anything else. Some businesses are easier to start and even maintain with a full-time job than others.

How Lingerie makes it all better

The perception that people have is that lingerie is meant to be appealing, sexy, even sensual. It helps set the mood for an anniversary, even Valentine’s day. It is believed that lingerie can only be won on a special occasion, but then what happens on an ordinary day? do you still wear lingerie? I say yes! If you’re single, dating, in a relationship or even married for 20 years this applies. I believe a woman you should never leave the house unless you have something sexy underneath your clothes.

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Why save them for a special occasion? I too used to wear lingerie only on special occasions and I experimented by wearing it for a week, You know what happened? It made me more comfortable in my own skin and more confident and flirty. This translated into the image and personality I projected to the outside world. Now, I never wear anything unappealing underneath my clothes. It’s a rule I have. Even if no one is going to see it, it’s still there, for me.

“Lingerie is not about seducing men, it’s about embracing womanhood.”

As women, we need that extra little boost of confidence more often than we think. These Lacey panties, push up bras, stockings, garter belts, corsets, bustiers, and thongs can give us that little nudge. Wearing Lingerie underneath clothing makes a woman feel more feminine. It celebrates sexuality no matter what size she is. It makes the women feel, “excitingly appealing”. I believe that sexy is not the way someone looks but the way someone feels.One of the main reasons why lingerie is important, I’ve noticed is support- it provides support. Push-up bras and sports bras keep everything in place. Push-up bras lift the bust up to prevent sagging. Push-up bras also help keep the breasts together.

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Panties such as thongs and cheekies help the buttocks appear bigger since it does not cover it fully. Hiphuggers and briefs cover more while keeping everything compact. Hiphuggers start at the hip so they are more of a sexy feel while still providing coverage in the back. Briefs provide the most coverage. These are recommended for women who have more “Junk in the Trunk”– an attribute many shouldn’t be ashamed of; if it needs to be covered, briefs will do the trick while holding more in one place.

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Garter belts are beautiful function garments that keep stockings from riding down the legs. Corsets and Bustiers are an extension of a bra to help keep an hourglass figure. This is because of all the boning (Wire) in the seams. Babydolls could be defined as a bra with a dress. This is explained to be a sexy little dress for a special night. Teddies are fitted bodysuits that make the body appear slimmer and sexier. These are usually transparent to show off that feminine beautiful body. Lingerie isn’t just “sexy”; it also has detailed functions.

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Lingerie comes in different pieces for different personalities. Lace bras and panties are for when a woman is feeling confident and bold. Comfort bras are for when a woman wants to feel beautiful in her skin but also sexy. Some women prefer lacey lingerie over non-laced counterparts depending on her preferences. Lingerie shows personality.Lingerie is more than just important to a woman. It is important to those around her. It shows us who a woman is– her preferences, desires, dreams and fantasies.

The Secret To Tantric, Spiritual Sex.

With the world depicting sex as an act of power and control. We forget the spiritual connection that happens when you have sex with someone. The soul ties that come with the performance of sex. As much as the world; Music videos, movies, magazines and social media has taken the spirituality that comes with having sex out, we cannot deny its existence. Connecting with your significant other spiritually while being intimate makes you discover the sacred unity of body and soul when it comes to sex.

Its disturbing to discover that many people that find sex and spirituality are completely unrelated, or exist as opposites. For those who were brought up in a world where religious influence was ineffective, it may be a novel idea to consider that sex can be spiritual, and they are very few of those people in our society.

Most of us grew up in a war between spirituality and sensuality. The word “sex” in our families could stop conversations and make everyone freeze in embarrassment. I spent my teen years afraid of speaking about sex let alone try it out. I started having sex late, mainly because my mom put the fear of God in me. Yet, despite all of this neurotic baggage, I came to enjoy sex as much as I’m captivated by spirituality.

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Set Your Life On fire. Seek those who fan your flames.

To lead a spiritual life you need to embrace and respect your sexuality just as much as any other part of your nature. Although sex has been linked to many dirty and “perverse” ideas, the act of lovemaking can truly be something sacred and profound.

To make things simple spiritual sex can be divided into two levels: the first level is conscious affection, which is sexual energy that generates intense, devoted feelings for the partner. The result of this type sexual energy is greater partner connection, strengthening commitment in a long-term relationship, enhancing the bond. The second level is spiritual unification, which is the ultimate expression of sexuality. Often one receives inspiration and illumination that can be translated into divine guidance or simply experienced as pure bliss. These awe-inspiring sexual experiences produce a sense of integrating with the source of energy and losing physical boundaries during orgasm. It is often described as “being in the moment of boundless bliss.” Many ancient and modern visionary experiences are described as feelings of being “bathed in pure light.” It is cosmic orgasm, the direct experience of the self as pure energy, in union with a divine source. This level of spiritual sex may occur without a partner and even without any physical stimulation.

Sexual energy is the source of our connection to the life energy, the benefits to physical, emotional, and intellectual health are obvious. Developing conscious rituals allow you to become more open to transcendent experiences. It prepares you to be receptive to the possibility of connecting in higher states of awareness from peak sexual moments. meaningless sex becomes a distraction and ultimately stagnates spiritual growth. But when sex becomes an opportunity to return to the Source and becomes a doorway of transformation to higher states of awareness – it gains a whole new purpose.

In future articles I plan to explore the exhilarating but taboo world of ancient sexual practices. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your experiences with sex. How has lovemaking helped you on your spiritual path, and do you have any tips? Please share below.

SIDE DISH: THE UNTOLD STORY

I know the title is not enticing. With that said, this is not a tutorial on how to get a side guy. I have been dreading to write something about it for quite some time, because I was being a little judgmental, not understanding what goes on in someone’s mind and relationship to even consider having a side guy. Men have had side chicks since the beginning of time and it has become some sort of a “norm” and not much of an eyebrow raiser. I decided to dig deeper because I noticed how much of a trend this side guy thing has become among women, maybe it’s not something new, but as of late it has become more obvious.

What is a side guy? Why do you need a side guy? These are the questions I asked the two ladies who didn’t mind sharing their experiences on the subject. They are both in long-term relationships, and both have side guys. They asked to remain anonymous to protect their identity so I have changed their names.

Pearl, has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for three years, and she has had a side guy for two years. I asked, why do you need a side guy? “I love my boyfriend, he is an amazing guy, however we are so different, the more our relationship grows, the more he stays the same, I’m growing but he is still the same guy he was three years ago, he doesn’t help me with anything, there is no progress. Things are different with my side guy, he is really ambitious, he does things for me and he is fun to be around, no two days are the same. He takes me to places I have never been before, but we don’t connect emotionally, that’s where my main guy comes in, he has been there for me since the beginning and we have been through so much together but he isn’t fun anymore and thus can’t offer me what I want”.

Sindi’s situation is a little different; she has been in a relationship for two years, what causes her to stray is that her main guy got offered to work overseas within a year of their relationship and can only come see her every second month. Her man does everything for her but doesn’t satisfy her physical needs as often as she would like, so she chose to have a guy on the side to satisfy that.

All these women are in long term relationships but feel the need to stray because of what they lack at home. Their complaint was that the side guy treats them better than the main guy in whatever it is that they lack.The side guy knows everything about the main guy which makes the side guy job so much easier to keep the female happy so how he treats you shouldn’t even matter.

I believe that if a woman finds a man that can give her either emotional or sexual satisfaction that she is not getting at home; she may cheat on her committed partner for the pleasure of an intimate connection, even at the risk of losing what she has at home. Humans have a natural proclivity to move toward what feels good.

In fact, some studies show that 80% of affairs happen because of opportunity. If the opportunity comes along, it can be hard to turn down an affair that promises to bring pleasure or intrigue. An affair can be even harder to refuse if a woman is unhappy in her relationship, depressed or stressed in her own personal life or career. Finding satisfaction in an affair is usually short-lived, however, and rarely provides long term fulfillment. Actually, most affairs last less than three years and ten percent last no longer than 24 hours.

Some women cheat because the partner was unfaithful first. The jumble of mixed emotions is possibly impetus for their affair. “I cheated on him—mostly for revenge, but in retrospect it was also because I wanted validation. I wanted to know that I was still desirable to other men,” said Pearl. Retribution is a common feeling when someone has been betrayed; Anger can be quite powerful in clouding one’s judgment. The more I write and think about the subject, the more I realise that no matter how much we talk about it and show people the dangers of having multiple partners, it won’t change the situation because people do it for their own personal reasons, so who are we to judge.

Do you want your eggs frozen or sunny side up??

Egg freezing is a breakthrough technology that allows women to freeze and store their eggs until a pregnancy is desired, at which time the eggs are thawed, fertilised and transferred to the uterus as embryos. Many women today are feeling the pressure of having to choose between a career and a family. Some are returning to school or pursuing advanced degrees and don’t know when or if they will have children. For many, it may simply be an issue of not having found the right partner yet. For all of these women, egg freezing is revolutionary not just in its technology, but in the freedom it can offer in allowing them to postpone childbearing.

Women suffering from endometriosis, a progressive disease that can impair ovarian function, can realise significant family building options through egg freezing. Endometriosis is becoming far more common in the western world, particularly among younger women, and has resulted in a considerable increase in those seeking fertility preservation. Women in the reproductive-age group that are diagnosed with cancer who will need chemotherapy and/or radiation treatments that can typically lead to infertility by destroying the eggs are excellent candidates for egg freezing. While options vary depending on age, type of cancer and cancer-treatment plan, egg freezing can provide these women the opportunity to preserve their fertility.

If diagnosed with cancer then the patient needs to contact a Fertility Clinic urgently for a fast track appointment. The process of egg collection must take place BEFORE any form of therapy takes place.
Finally, egg freezing can be useful for individuals with religious or moral objections to storing frozen embryos. Frequently, in routine IVF, any excess embryos that remain are frozen for future use. However, if they are not to be used, their disposal can create a difficult ethical issue. The ability to freeze unfertilised eggs offers a positive solution for many people.

Steps Taken In The Treatment Process

Most treatment protocols involve the preparation of the ovaries for the production of mature eggs needed for the freezing process.

Step 1

Step 1 involves waiting for your normal menstrual period to begin. Depending upon the treatment protocol prescribed for you, with the beginning of your menses, you will either be given instructions to begin your fertility drugs, or instructions to wait for a certain date within the three weeks following the start of your period to begin a medication to allow the Doctors the opportunity to optimise your ovaries for the fertility drugs that will follow.

Step 2 – Ovarian Stimulation

Step 2 involves the administration of fertility medications designed to allow your ovaries to begin the growth of the several eggs that will be removed for subsequent freezing. During this phase, you can either self-administer the drugs that allow for the successful production of multiple healthy eggs, or have a nurse administer the daily injections for you. Nurses will show you how to administer the injectable medications prior to commencing your cycle. While taking these medications, you will need to be seen for ultrasound studies 3-4 times over the 10-12 day period the medicines are being used.

Step 3 – Egg Retrieval

After your eggs have been determined to have matured adequately, you will be scheduled for the surgical harvesting of your eggs. This will be done by one of the Doctors. In nearly all instances, the procedure is carried out with a light sedative that allows a relatively pain-free procedure with a rapid recovery. You will be discharged from the clinic once it has been determined that you are stable, usually within 2-3 hours of your procedure.

Step 4 – Oocyte Cryopreservation

After your eggs have been recovered, they are prepared in our cryopreservation laboratory by the embryologist. The first step is to assure the healthy appearance of the eggs and begin the process of preparing the eggs for freezing via vitrification.
The vitrification technique uses a rapid two stage process. The first dehydrates the egg to remove much of the liquid; the second stage freezes the eggs so rapidly that the transformation from liquid to solid is instantaneous. No ice crystals form and the consistency resembles a viscous glassy state (hence the term ‘vitrified’).

Step 5 – Oocyte Storage
Following the freezing process, your eggs will be transferred to a liquid nitrogen storage chamber where they are stored in their frozen state. This chamber is located at the Fertility Clinic most of the time. Studies have shown that there is tremendous variability in the ability of eggs to tolerate the freezing process. They have also shown that within a single group of eggs frozen, some will survive and others will not. In those that do survive the freeze and later thaw, some will fertilise when exposed to sperm and others will not.

Step 6 – Thaw And Use Of Your Frozen Eggs

When the time arrives for you to use your cryopreserved eggs, you will need to make arrangements with the facility at least 3 months in advance of the time you desire the eggs to be thawed and fertilised. It must be remembered that the eggs have been frozen unfertelised, and that the fertilisation of previously frozen eggs requires special techniques and handling. The successful fertilisation of cryopreserved eggs is greatly enhanced by the use of a process called “ICSI” (intracytoplasmic sperm injection). Utilising this method ensures the best chance for the fertilisation of the eggs and their subsequent development into healthy embryos with the potential to produce an ongoing pregnancy. When the clinic is contacted by you with a request for use of the frozen eggs, it will begin making the arrangements for the treatment cycle required to assure the best chance for a successful pregnancy outcome for you.
It must be noted that the costs of the thawing, fertilisation and transfer of embryos are not included in the costs of the egg freezing program.

Success Rates
The following success rates are based on published peer-reviewed medical literature:
1. An approximate overall 4% live-birth rate per oocyte thawed for cryopreservation using vitrification. E.g. if 10 eggs are frozen then there will be 40% chance of a live birth.
2. The likelihood is that success rates may be significantly lower than current overall estimates for women who cryopreserve oocytes after age 35, given that most published reports have described outcomes for younger women.

The success rate of freezing eggs can be equated with the success rate of undergoing a cycle of in-vitro fertilisation which correlates with age (

Safety
By early 2008, approximately 500 babies have been born worldwide from frozen eggs. Among these births, the rate of birth defects and chromosomal defects has been no higher than that which we see in the general population. Additionally, genetic screening of embryos is available.

Cost
The cost of the primary visit and investigations consists of:
• Consultation and Ultrasound with your Doctor
• Hormonal Blood testing
• Infection tests including HIV, Hepatitis B and vaginal infection tests
The Cost of the egg freezing program is approximately R 28 600. This will include all the costs involved in obtaining eggs. This cost excludes the medication needed to stimulate the ovaries. The average cost of the medication is R13 000.
The cost of egg storage is R1 200.00 per annum on average.

Psychological Consideration
The freezing of your eggs gives you a backup plan if you have problems falling pregnant at a later age. However, it is important not to base your life decisions and expectations on a limited number of cryopreserved oocytes. The actual quality of the frozen eggs and their ability will only be determined when they are fertilised at a later date.

Risks
With fertility drugs there are rare complications that clinics try to avoid by taking specific precautions.

1. Hyperstimulation Syndrome
This is a rare, but serious complication when fertility drugs are used and too many follicles (eggs) develop in the ovaries. The symptoms of ovarian hyperstimulation include lower abdominal pain accompanied by swelling of the abdomen. The ovaries become very large and surrounded by fluid and this may cause some nausea and vomiting. The loss of fluid in this way may lead to dehydration and decreased urine output. Any woman developing abdominal pain and swelling after the egg collection procedure is advised to telephone the clinic to attend for a check up so that they may make sure this condition is not developing. Treatment may require admission to hospital for bed rest for a few days and very rarely, intravenous fluids. We avoid this risk by choosing the lowest dose of fertility drugs that will produce an adequate number of eggs. If all the follicles are drained at the time of egg collection, the risk of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome may be greatly reduced and we can further reduce the risk of the syndrome by the use of tablets for two weeks following the egg collection.
2. Bleeding
Any surgical procedure carries the risk of bleeding and we avoid this by using very thin needles for the egg collection procedure. We have not had any problems with this complication in the past. You may expect a small amount of bleeding on the day of the egg recovery which will ease after a couple of days. If the bleeding becomes heavier, please contact the Clinic.
3. Infection
This is limited by checking for vaginal infections before the procedure.
4. How Successful Is Egg Freezing?
Survival rates for eggs following freezing depend on the quality of the eggs before freezing, but on average only about 70% of the eggs frozen will survive the freezing and thawing process. Of the surviving eggs about 65% of these in turn will fertilise in response to ICSI (intra cytoplasmic sperm injection).

Even with all this information about egg freezing, South African women are still skeptical about weather they should consider freezing their eggs. Would you freeze your eggs if you could afford to?

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